Relationship Skills: SEL Competency #4

Governor Mifflin Middle School believes that relationship skills are an important part of a person's social development and contribute to a more successful academic, professional, and personal life. Strong relationship skills help individuals interact with others appropriately and can reduce stress in school, the workplace, and social interactions.

“Whether they stem from business or personal situations, our relationships are what support us, connect us, and allow us to progress in all aspects of our lives.”

― Michelle Tillis Lederman. 

Success can be measured in many ways depending on ones values and goals. How successful a person becomes however, may depend in part on the manner in which they interact with others. Whether it is checking out at the grocery store, playing a game with a peer, or handling a business transaction, the foundation of appropriate interactions is built on mutual trust and respect. For middle school students, this can be a challenging task. Developmentally, it can be difficult for teens and pre-teens to consider others' perspectives and grasp the importance of respect and trust, especially if there have been traumatic events and experiences that impede or interfere with their reasoning skills. In these cases, it is imperative that relationship skills are intentionally taught to them and modeled by adults. 

As we continue to work through the CASEL framework, CASEL defines the fourth competency, relationship skills, as the abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships and to effectively navigate settings with diverse individuals and groups. This includes the capacities to communicate clearly, listen actively, cooperate, work collaboratively to problem solve and negotiate conflict constructively, navigate settings with differing social and cultural demands and opportunities, provide leadership, and seek or offer help when needed. The video below explains how kids can be taught to be productive members of a group through problem-based learning and build capacity in several relationship skill areas, including: Communicating effectively, Developing positive relationships, Demonstrating cultural competency, Practicing teamwork and collaborative problem-solving, Resolving conflicts constructively, Resisting negative social pressure, Showing leadership in groups Seeking or offering support and help when needed, and, Standing up for the rights of others.


As previously mentioned, pre-teens and teen-aged students can struggle to understand the importance of relationship skills if they haven't been intentionally taught to them. Learning relationship skills is ultimately an important part of the collaborative problem solving process. Below are a few tips on teaching relationship skills provided by a resource from Foxfire schools.

When should I do it:
* All children can benefit from being taught relationship skills
* With children who seem to be “loners”
* With children that are frequently involved or starting or taking part in drama
* With children that say no one likes them or they have no friends
* With children who have trouble asking for help
* When children seem socially awkward
* When children cannot get along with others
* When children instigate, annoy, bug, etc., others
* When children shun, avoid, or ostracize others
* When children bully or are bullied
* When children create or spread rumors
* When children have trouble sharing, compromising, listening to others’ opinions, etc.
* When children seem intolerant of others
 
How do I do it:
* Use any opportunity to model and role play relationship skills, like when a child name calls and others choose not to play with them, when a child shares, when a child helps another, etc.
* Teach lessons on relationships, friendships, getting along with others, tolerance, etc.
* Take children aside to discuss and have them reflect on how their behaviors affect others, what  behaviors would make others want to be friends with them, etc.
* Have children partner up and collaborate with others
* Help kids set goals with making friends or getting to know others

As students practice, and learn to incorporate these and other relationship skills into their daily routines, they will be more likely to have appropriate interactions, and have more success in their academic, and social lives. We hope you give them a try!


Additional resources and what's on the horizon for flex period!

Additional Resources

Flex Period Schedule
Days 1 & 4 - SSR - Silent Sustained Reading - Learn More Here
Days 2 & 5 - iReady - Family Resource Page
Days 3 & 6 - SEL - Social Emotional Learning Schedule
* 3/18 - Mindfulness Activity
* 3/23 - Conflict Resolution Activity
* 3/26 - Restorative Circle Activity - Part Two

As always, thank you for your continued support and partnership in education!

Sincerely,

Chris Killinger
GMMS Associate Principal


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